The Value of Heaven

I've been feeling the weight of loss lately. So many painful tragedies occur. So many lives are cut short. It seems to hurt worse when life is snatched away from the young. 

How can a heart cope? How do you reconcile the loss that you feel in your heart to the continuation of everyday activities when life must go on? Such a question. 

I recall when I was in the thick of facing my own losses. The only thing that would give me some sort of comfort was the reality that heaven had become a lot more valuable. I know it seems simple, but think about it. Many spout sonnets concerning the afterlife, cherubs and streets of gold. I happen to truly believe there is such a place as this paradise- although I don't know what it will look like. Because God reigns there, I know it has got to be good, as He indeed is. Because of His presence there and the presence of my loved ones, this "heaven" is valuable to me. I truly believe I will see them when I pass away. Although the pain of the waiting is tangible, joy comes in the morning. 

In the realization of the value of heaven, I rest in the knowledge that safety and security do not need to be sought down here. Because of His great love, there is no fear in death. I can rest in knowing that even if I pass away, things will turn out ok. I will be fine. My family will survive because they find a home in a loving Savior who can meet all of their needs. 

This tangibly looks like the overwhelming strength that one feels when plagued with sorrow. This looks like moments of great joy that carry you when you've felt like you have no tears left. This looks like community surrounding you and provision given when financial needs are present. 

In the midst of sorrow, God is Here. He is close to the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. Because of the value of heaven and the precious gift of my life, I choose to hide myself in the wings of my Savior- the one who carries me and shows me daily, the true value of heaven.

Love,

-Melody

Come Alive

What makes you come alive? I mean truly feel alive? Is it the feeling of sand between your toes as the vast and mysterious ocean crashes upon the shore just beyond your reach? Do you feel alive laying on the cool grass in silence as you watch the stars dance in the skies? Does your heart rejoice when you hear the pure joy in the laugher of children as they run from you in an impromptu game of hide and seek? Does your heart skip a beat upon hearing the forlorn melodies of a symphony as the marriage of sweet notes crash upon your soul, moving you to tears? Or is it upon hearing the indescribable and unmistakable voice of God in your dealings that surrounds your heart like a blanket knit with threads of security and peace?

We go far too long without moments like these. As a child, when I would feel overwhelmed I would just run away. I'd run to the forest where no one would find me. I didn't have a cell phone and I didn't care. I would take off my shoes and run off the beaten path. I would chase the songs of birds, dance in the rain, wade into peaceful lakes, climb the tallest trees and find so much peace that I vowed in my heart never to return home again. Those were the moments that I felt truly alive. 

I don't always have the luxuries of significant moments of rest that I once had. Peace is sometimes elusive and equated to sitting alone a little longer in the car to sing along to a favorite song, or stopping to smell the candles at Target letting the fragrances take me away. I constantly crave the ocean, constantly crave more peace, yet I make few attempts to just get away. So few that when I finally do, I'm so numb to life that I have a hard time unwinding enough to enjoy them. 

It's time for us to come alive again. To make moments of peace and joy common practices in our lives.  The frigid winds of winter are on their way and they beckon your heart to remember the seasons. To seek out the changing of the leaves. To become aware of the fleeting seasons of your own life and the ebbs and flows that they bring. It's time to make them count! It's time to give yourself permission to seek joy and to share that joy with others. It's time to unwind your heart and truly forgive those with whom you have been estranged. To forgive yourself. To cultivate true love again. To dance. To dream again. To pick up that paintbrush. To put down excuses. 

I encourage you this week to find what moves you. Focus on that passion at least once this week. Remember who you truly are, or get to know yourself for the first time. Don't be afraid. Come Alive.

Love,

-Melody

A Change of Pace

Let's pretend for a second that life is a rat race...or maybe it's like being on a rowing team. Instead of the Coxswain yelling row in the megaphone, they are yelling "Strive! Strive!..." My goodness, this is how I feel at least 75% of the time. How I want so bad to dwell in the unforced rhythms of grace all day-100% of the time!

I was in the bathroom a few nights ago, trying to figure out my hair. I had this elaborate design planned in my head, but I was subtly racing the clock to have it done before my husband got home. I would begin a row of twisting my hair..."Strive! Strive!" Was all I could hear in my head...leading to epic hair failure. I undid my work. Began another row. "Strive! Strive!" ...epic fail. It looked so bad, I decided to change my hairstyle altogether. 

All the while, I'm thinking about what I'm going to wear at church the next day. Thinking about how I regret unfinished business plans. Thinking about how I still haven't cleaned the kitchen, finished the laundry, painted the boys bedroom, swept the dining room floor, or done my nails. Oh, my poor nails. I haven't given them proper attention in years, partially because of the incessant "Strive! Strive!" chant I've been coasting along to. The weight of it never really affords me the opportunity to get anything worthwhile done.

I remember once, I was spending time in prayer and I felt like God was tugging on my heart to change my pace. To stop striving all of the time. How do you stop when you've been moving at breakneck speeds for most of your life? Doing many things, but few things well? Just getting by and running on empty far too often. Bouncing from one task to another- to complete anything just to have even the slightest feeling of accomplishment. 

 Sometimes our peers can be the greatest teachers. For a while now, I have been noticing the life of my sister in law, Donna. She is a ballroom dance instructor, so she kind of glides when she walks, moves gently and deliberately- even when she endearingly punches my husband, (as his older sister) there is a certain grace to it. :-)

 One thing I love about her is that she is rarely in a rush. She allots more than enough time to get ready in the morning. She actually tastes her food when she eats. She sits at the end of the day with a glass of wine in her hand, lets herself unwind and begins discussing the happenings of her day. In contrast, most days I hop out of bed to the sound of my kids yelling for me to come and get them from the bottom of their bedroom door, maybe take a 5 minute shower and sometimes brush my teeth. I grab the boys, throw breakfast together, break up a fight over toy cars, let the crazy dogs outside, maybe even eat my eggs straight from the pan to fill my stomach before the baby wakes up and starts to cry to be nursed. You know, the life of a mom with young children. 

I was considering that maybe things don't have to be this way. I don't really have to strive and stress in the happenings of my day. Sometimes I get it right. Sometimes, I wake up early. Sit outside by the water and listen to the birds chirping with a steaming cup of tea- do a small devotional and get grounded to begin my day. Days like those are so much better overall because I start the day with intentionality. I want to begin every day this way. I need to. Not only for the sake of not losing my mind, but for the sake of hearing the voice of God.

If I'm moving so fast, I lose the beauty of the stillness that I find Him whispering to me about His great love for me and for my children. I miss Him cheering me on as a mother and wife when I feel like I'm doing a thankless job. I miss God's reminders of love written across the skies as I walk with the boys to the park in the morning. I miss what is far too valuable to ignore. I can't afford to do that anymore. 

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 says:12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 

So today, I will be intentional. I will taste my food. Even though I have many unfinished tasks to be done-many of which could easily overwhelm my heart with feelings of shame, I choose to reject striving in my dealings. I choose to believe that the goal of my life is far more than just to accomplish things. The goal is to enjoy the journey. To really know the love and heart of God. To really get to know and love myself. Out of these places will flow great beauty that will allow me to bless my world and the people in it. No more striving. Just grace.

 I challenge you to do the same. Be intentional today. Rest. Love well. Find delight in the works of your hands and throw striving out of the window. Bask in the love of Jesus. You can do it! I believe in you. 

Love,

-Mel

The beauty of creativity

Driven by a deep desire to craft ones passion into a tangible masterpiece, we weave our efforts into beauty. Some create songs, others scribble prose. Tonight, I created a twig vase...and failed.

Do you ever have a picture in your mind of what a created work will look like, yet as you keep working on a project, it continually morphs into something you don't really care for? Well, I'm actually happy to be able to have creativity at all.

Within the victim of life-altering trauma, there is often one common thread- the death of creativity. I have spoken to individuals who have forgotten that they knew how to knit, paint or dance. Others have stopped dreaming completely. I have been there myself.

As my life has become adrift with stillness and continuity, I am finally able to dream creatively again. Although haphazard, I'm still dreaming! Although there will be a lot of failures along the way, each mistake contributes to the whole of me. Each one working together to redefine my passions and solidify my personhood.

Whether your creativity be amiss in the drudgeries of tragedy, the monotony of parenthood or the disconnect of the awareness of your self and soul, I encourage you to dream again!

The ability of creativity is as a God-placed fingerprint weaved within each of us. Find your passion. Re-write your story. Dream daily and achieve those dreams! Right now, my dreams are to become a carpenter, master the piano, videography and musical production. I have so much to learn, but I can see myself at the finish line. Love, do not give up until you achieve every passion set before you. You are never too young, and will never be too old.

Love,

-Mel

Ps. I'm going to keep working on the vase until it becomes something beautiful.