Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Yelling at God? I don't do that enough *REPOST*

yelling at a donkey llama thing

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I was approached by a friend today about the necessity of yelling at God sometimes. When you face something tough in life- something unfortunate that was in no way a part of God's plan for you, but was a result of the free-will of someone else or of a broken world... that just sucks.

Why did their bad decision have to rub off on me and alter my existence? Its just not fair. Well, I guess I haven't been doing enough of this "yelling" at God (or maybe to God). I feel it in my soul- a tug of war as I try to reconcile my heart, and a mind that has been forever trying to convince me that God is a God of wrath. My heart has been trying to prove my mind wrong, but after these altering events, that effort has become a despicable feat.

So, how does this conversation come about? A exchange of beating my chest and occasional wtfs to God? I don't know if I can be that honest, right? But ya know, honesty like this is what God can truly take. When we look in the Word of God, those who were brutally honest captivated His heart. Christ Himself spoke those tough words to the Father "Let this cup pass from me," but ultimately, Christ surrendered his will and succumbed to his predestined fate and it was a glorious one.

With all that said, I will officially say that I am upset. I know I have been cheated. My life has been forever altered. I have been deeply pained, wronged, like a reed bent with no cause, but ya know what? My Savior is beginning to pick up the pieces of me. Little by little I am watching Him mend this heart, and when the healing has been completed and the scars become a reminder of where I have been, He and I will be a force to be reckoned with. No doubt about it.

Until then, Lord, let your love be the healing balm that soothes this soul.

Let your strength infuse a heart that has turned to stone.

Let true praise be the breath that speaks no lies-

to the Savior who holds the tears that fall from these eyes.

You have felt the pain that deepens within my chest

you have seen me broken as I beat upon my breast,

but great joy will soon return to me

for you are my sweet justice and my liberty.

Amen.

*Note: I am in no way equating God to a pony, donkey or llama. LOL. I just really liked this picture:-)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Real Love

290px-Cristo_Redentor_-_Rio

So, I was doing some thinking about love. You know, Jesus loved unconditionally, compassionately...completely.

We love marginally, conditionally and many times through gritted teeth- inevitably reluctantly. You may beg to differ, but I'm speaking from experience.

Nevertheless, love makes me think of communion. You know- the communion Jesus had with the disciples in the upper room. The more I know about those disciples, I realize that true communion was not just for the righteous. We have all sinned.

What gets me is that Christ knew the sins of those who sat around the table with Him during the last supper. He even pointed out the sins of some and told them that He knew! But ya know what? He didn't dismiss himself from the table. Why? Because He loved completely. He simply wanted to sup with them. He wanted them to understand the depth of His love and the imperative reality of His impending sacrifice.

His actions were saying : No matter what, I'm not giving up on you. My death proves my commitment to your process of healing and salvation. I want you to be free to love as I love... to love as freely and as completely as I live.

I just thought that was deep. Although for some, the words spoken here may be obvious or even redundant, but I'd be remiss if I forget of the love of Christ- if my heart becomes calloused and it no longer aches when I consider the reality of the depth of Christ's love.

I just wanted to share that with you. Have a great day.