The Greatest Thing

Yesterday evening, our refrigerator died for a few hours. I was in the kitchen preparing a drink for my little one, when I noticed something strange. I could actually smell the food in the refrigerator. It's crazy that I didn't notice it before. You don't usually smell the food unless it's getting warm, but I didn't think about that. I didn't really think about anything, but to grab the butter and cheese. The butter was soft. So was the cheese. 

All I thought of while cooking was "Man, these grilled cheese sandwiches are cooking fast!" That made me happy, as I  often cheat when I make grilled cheese.  I just melt the cheese in the microwave and brown the bread in the toaster. Perfection isn't that important to me when my kids have rumbling tummies. I'd rather show them love by providing for their needs sooner that later, because I know what it feels like to be hungry.

I found myself in the kitchen- sippy cup in my hand, when I finally put two and two together. You see, I'm the kind of person that doesn't really anticipate things going wrong, so when they do, it's news to me. I decided to poke a milk carton in the freezer just to be sure that this was actually happening. Yep, the milk was almost completely thawed out. I yelled toward the living room to my husband who was working hard on homework. "Jon, I think we're going to need a new refrigerator pretty soon." Now, half of me was overjoyed because that loud thing stole so much peace when the kids were asleep. It was louder than the sound of the dogs snoring in the living room. I couldn't stand it. I wasn't thinking about how much the refrigerator was going to cost, or the stress that it was already causing my husband to hear those words. I was thinking about how quiet it would be when the thing was finally gone and I knew that God would provide for us no matter what, because of His great love. 

There was a point in time where my husband and I shared a brief conversation about resources. We had seen God provide before and we knew that He would, but something inside of both of us wanted to revert to a "freakout cause this is reality" mode- to a time where we didn't have anything. This was a time where we only had have enough money for rent, bus fare, a few bananas and a loaf of bread (that we purchased with pennies) . A time where we were in poverty and so dependent on God to provide for every simple sustenance that we needed to survive. 

We thought about getting a military hardship loan to pay for the refrigerator flat out and then we would slowly repay it as funds would be deducted from Jon's paycheck until the amount was paid in full. It seemed like a good idea at the time... until I was washing dishes and was reminded that although Jon wasn't working an additional job, this was the first time in months, maybe years, that we didn't have to tap into our savings. We actually had money left over! I kind of stood in awe of the provisions of God and remembered how He had miraculously provided in the last few months since my husband had stopped his personal training business. 

The first month, we received an anonymous check from our bank for over $1600 because they realized they were not providing the best service that they could have regarding our account. It was exactly what we needed to make ends meet. The next month, Jon received a raise and clothing allowance from the military. It was exactly what we needed. This month, I knew we would be short on grocery money. I have a family consisting of a very hungry husband and three growing boys. One day online I randomly decided to enter a contest to win some naturally raised chicken, and I won! I never win anything! I was blown away. I was just thinking that the money that I would be short on this month would have been the money I would have used to buy meat for dinner. It was exactly what I needed. It was my manna. God provided exactly what I needed, every single time. 

So, while I'm washing dishes, I just feel that we were supposed to take the abundance that we had and the resources that we'd been given to purchase a new refrigerator. This would be a step to solidifying the end of a poverty mentality in us. If we would go backwards, we would step right back into it. Anyone who knows the despair of not having, knows how difficult it is to walk forward in confidence when you are on the other side on having little. This difficulty is usually from the fear that abundance will be taken away. It's funny because the next day when Jon came home from work, I told him what I felt, and he that he felt the exact same thing. He was going to ask for a handout and was stopped in his tracks. 

It's so crazy how we traverse from one season to the next. It feels so foreign sometimes. It even feels painful sometimes. We have to leave the unfamiliar because God is calling us to something better. He is calling us to step out onto the water. To overcome the fear that we may sink. To trust that He will NOT let us drown.  

A few moments ago, I was nursing my little one and he felt asleep in my arms. I was reflecting on the goodness of God and about what I should write about tonight. I knew it would be about His great love for us His great love for you. Then I got a clear picture of what that meant.  As I lay in bed with my little one in my arms, the dogs started to bark and he stirred enough to realize that he was in my arms. The biggest smile spread across his little face as he nestled deeper into my arms. I felt such an amazing feeling. At that moment I realized because of my great love for Ethan, I would do absolutely anything for him! There was nothing that he could do to turn me away. There was nothing he could say to make me change my mind. There was absolutely no obstacle too great to move, because I wanted to make sure the desires of his heart were met. Guess what? That's how God feels about you! It is because of His great love. Romans 8:38-39 says:

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[p] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This truth is for you! There is nothing that can separate you from His love. Not poverty, nor wealth. No mistake, no regret, no anger, no life choice, no abortion, no fear, no failure, no sin, no disobedience. NOTHING! He loves you enough to move heaven and earth for you. He adores every bit of you. Perfection from you isn't important because all He wants to do is meet your needs. He loves you with His very being. I can't imagine anyone loving more than the love that I felt for my son tonight, but that is how He loves you. How He loves us... and this my friend, is the greatest thing. 

Love,

-Mel