A Change of Perspective

Such a beautiful dance of life we live,

An intricate tapestry we roam. 

In the midst of days plummeting on,

and shadows cast of home. 

Dream with me friend, 

in this moment find ,

the one thing you can give.

A cherished belief 

in life and love,

and inaccurate perspective. 

God has been opening my eyes lately to how limited my perspective has been. I was driving around last week, after dropping my mother off at the airport and stumbled across a park. I've driven by this park a few times and had never taken the time to enjoy its beauty. Today, I would.

 

It was frigid for Las Vegas this particular day, but I decided to seek a place to write beneath the trees. I pulled my sweater close to my face as the cool wind swirled around me. My eyes began to water and I felt like I would find no resting place for myself or for my pen. I walked toward one spot as a young man decided to find his place a few feet away- too close. I turned in the opposite direction to find that the only places left were in the parking lot. Feeling a little saddened by the lack of shelter, I decided to walk in another direction. I almost retreated to the car when I saw something. Geese. Huge, fuzzy, fat, honking, orange beaked geese! I hadn't recalled seeing white geese before, so I went to take a closer look. Further into the park were all kinds of birds. Songbirds, pigeons, seagulls, mallards, larks and horned geese all waddling before me. A frigid landscape suddenly turned into a bustling habitat for birds! 

I looked even further to see something shooting into the sky. I assumed it to be a broken sprinkler. Wrong again. It was the fountain to a lake! A man-made lake equipped with a ramp for boating and a drop off for fishing. This outing was just getting better and better.

As I sat by the water, I felt compelled to get out a pen and paper and begin to compose a line drawing of what I could see. I scribbled a flurry of shrubs and conifers...gazebos, mountains and clouds. I smiled at my drawing and felt compelled to look again. My, had I been wrong! The mountains were in the wrong place. The sidewalk didn't extend as far. I'm pretty sure I had missed a gazebo altogether. Although the rendering was beautiful to me, it was all wrong. This was when God began to speak.

He reminded me that although the drawing was lovely, and that there was much truth in my depiction of the scene, my perspective was limited. My limited perspective prevented me from seeing all of the beauty that could be seen in my surroundings. How many more things in my life was I not "seeing" completely? How many more experiences were I not engaging in fully because I came with expectations that prevented me from seeing the beauty of all that there was? 

In the middle of my "aha" moment, I glanced behind me as more perspective shifts unfolded. A nicely dressed man approached a seemingly transient woman who was fishing on the jetty. I had greeted her earlier, not knowing her story. The man proceeded to join her, crouching next to her poles and inspecting the spoils.  They engaged in intimate conversation. It seemed that they knew each other well. 

After this, I heard a voice. A small group with clipboards approached the couple and asked them how their day was. I thought the group worked for the city or the park system. As they came closer, I saw them ask two women walking their dogs if they were interested in taking a faith-based survey. The women declined- one didn't believe in organized religion. The other said she was "spiritual" but not interested. I think this was the first time I had actually heard someone say those words outside of the television. 

I took a breath as the group came near to where I was resting. I looked a little closer to see two men, a young girl and a teenage boy. As they began to speak, my heart told me the truth- we were family in Christ. I answered their questions and they began to smile. They shared with me how difficult it was to find someone who believed in Jesus- they were war torn. They intended to continue to keep at it until "their bodies gave out." My heart ached for them, but I understood. 

I asked if I could pray with them and they obliged. I prayed for physical strength, divine appointments and great joy. I prayed for the young girl who was also an artist- that God would expand her gift. I prayed for the teenage boy- that God would increase his gifts as he showed diligence in pursuing the heart of God. It was a treasured moment, and I would have missed it all if I hadn't turned around to face another direction. 

Sometimes we live our lives without ever turning around. How much do we miss? How much do we leave untouched or unblessed by our influence? 

Changing perspective for me means leaving my past behind. It means being brave enough to move ahead, even when I can't see what is in front of me. The truth is that I am led by the hand of the One who loves me- a Savior who will never lead me astray.

Today I choose to let Him expand my perspective. To wash away the muck from my eyes painted on by past hurts and failures. To choose new lenses. To see as if for the first time. You can too. Try it. The view is so much better this way:-)

Love you dearly,

-Melody

The Aftermath

Take a little bit of life, throw in some tornadoes, an earthquake for good measure. Shake it up and light it all on fire. That's been life for the past couple of weeks... OK maybe not that dramatic, but things have been pretty intense. The most challenging test was to keep my faith strong and to remember that God is truly who He says He is.

What a crazy thing to hold onto when the lights are turned off, or 3 friends discover they have cancer. It's a tough promise to hold onto when the bank account is negative and you have mouths to feed. I  will never leave my children begging for bread...(Psalm 37:25 paraphrased) the whisper of the promise. I will never leave you or forsake you...(Deuteronomy 31:6) I have to believe it, even when I feel abandoned in my circumstances. Though a mother may forget you, I will never forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands (Isaiah 49:16)...Yes daddy. You see me.

Those truths are what cause me to rise up within myself, close the door on what I can see and believe what He says. Healing WILL come. Life will be found. Cancer will die...all of these curses have been broken for cursed is the one who hangs on a tree (Galatians 3:13). He carried and broke all curses once and for all so that we could be free.

When trauma occurs, one of the tale tale signs for me is forgetfulness and a lack of creativity. When the dust settled, I forgot what I usually feed my kids. Poor things. Their meals have been oatmeal, fruit smoothies, crackers and popcorn for the last week. I don't even know what I've been feeding myself. Thankfully, things are coming back to me now- hence the fact that I am inscribing these words now.

Although my life goes on, I still see from the outside the battles loved ones are facing. All I can do is pray and help where I can. I have moments of great rejoicing when sweet victory is held in our arms.
I've stopped holding my breath and have begun holding on to the promise that God will do what He said He would do and that everything will work out just fine.  This is not only a stance of peace, but one of strength. There is no need to strive in within the arms of promise and steadfast love. You simply dwell, set your heart and mind on Christ-breathed truths and wait...seek, steady yourself and watch as the promises unfold.

If you find yourself in the throes of great testing remember this:

My friends, consider yourselves fortunate when all kinds of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith succeeds in facing such trials, the result is the ability to endure. Make sure that your endurance carries you all the way without failing, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)

So, wind waves be still for you must bow to the promise and command of the King.  Let us all find our place in rest as we wait for complete victories that are already on their way.

Love,

-Mel

The Anatomy of Love

When you walk into the room, 

Love's heart skips a beat.

He sees your beauty, 

And sweeps you off your feet.

You feel a deep sigh leave your chest,

As worries fade away,

In the embrace of love 

That takes your breath away.

Unadulterated and untainted,

This love is pure.

Birthed in the heart of God, 

Forever yours.

Take heed to this love,

For it will never leave.

Let it overtake your soul.

The only love you need. 

What does love look like? It comes in many forms. In the embrace of a lover. In the precious kiss of a child. In the bending of a loved one who brings fresh water to the lips of those who are parched and thirsty. 

One thing that I know for sure- everyone needs love. I feel we'd die without it. We were meant to be loved- meant to be held in deep regard. Whether this regard is begotten from someone we know cares deeply for us or from the hand of a stranger, we all feel it. 

Warmth floods the soul as something inside whispers "I'm valuable. I'm worth something." I hope you feel this feeling everyday. May your days be painted in dear moments of the purest regard, for you are dearly loved my friend. 

In the winter of your soul, you are loved. When you are deeply broken, you are seen. When you've failed again and again, love promises to be by your side, without judgement because your intrinsic value can never be diluted or removed. Remember this. Write it upon your heart. You are loved. 

This relentless, crazy love is and will always be for you. Love is what you were made for. This is the anatomy of love, and it's as mysterious as an iceberg:-) We've only just tapped the surface. 

Let your heart come alive in this truth today. You. Are. Loved. 

-Mel

A Real Treasure

For a few years I've felt like my heart has been bleeding. During my husbands first duty station at Fairchild AFB in Spokane, Washington, I found myself in the wake of a great tragedy, falling apart,  but excited. Away from my family, but closer to my husband...but I couldn't help but shake and incessant and tangible loneliness that was creeping in.

Unfortunately, loneliness was something I was far too familiar with. I can recall that in high school and some of college I was so familiar with the empty feeling that it had become a comfortable home for me-almost a depression. Deep down I craved real friendship. I knew that there had to be something better than living under a dark cloud everyday.

One day after the move, as I settled into our new home on base, I couldn't help but notice a neighbor. I soon found out that her name was Jessica. She had a sweet daughter and two crazy dogs. Immediately I knew I had found a treasure.

Soon she was dragging me out of the house to go on walks with her and the dogs. I had a puppy of my own and we would have play dates together.

A few weeks later, I got a frantic knock at the door. It was Jessica's daughter. She told me that her mom was unconscious on the floor and she couldn't wake her. I ran over, called 911 and tried to calm her daughter while we waited for the paramedics to arrive. Jessica had recently had knee surgery and the prescribed meds built up in her system- so much to cause her to lose consciousness. I was able to help save her life that day, but little did she know that she was saving mine.

After that incident, we became close friends fast- having movie nights, cooking dinners together, hitting up the gym. Our husband's were both gone for weeks at a time because of training, so we kind of became family. I remember on Easter, I woke up in the morning to Jessica in a bunny suit with a basket of goodies she put together. I'd never had a friend so thoughtful, and her actions will be forever etched in my heart.

Unfortunately, my husband wasn't able to finish that particular season of training and we were to be reassigned immediately. I was devastated. The one friend I had waited my whole life for was going to be gone, and there was nothing that could change that. We kept in contact after the move with calls, letters and care packages but as the happenings of life progressed, our contact became more and more infrequent. I knew things were never the same. They couldn't be. Our circumstances were very different. Sometimes life just happens like that.

After the ordeal, I kind of locked my heart away for my heart was broken. Deeply pained. I just kept plugging forward. Having more children, spending time with my husband- but when he was gone I was still very lonely. I'd make friends- even good ones, but I would often compare them to the one I had...never fully going all in. Quite possibly from the fear that it wouldn't last. I sometimes found myself becoming jealous of friendships that others had. I was grieving the loss of a treasure. Silently praying for restoration. 

It's amazing how God brings things back around. After years of loneliness and isolation,  I now have many ladies in my life that I cherish dearly as forever friends. Each has a different role in my life and a special place in my heart. Each one is a dear treasure. For the one I lost, I gained so many more, and I am so grateful. I know I missed so many opportunities of true friendship after locking my heart away. How I wish I would have kept my heart open! It would have spared me from years of dismal loneliness.

Some of my most beloved practices today are because of my friend Jessica's influence- the way I love drinking vanilla chai tea in the evenings...my love for kettlebell training, passion for the great outdoors, being a dog lover and getting hooked on Bones. Even though that season is gone, I took away so much. I am better for it. 

If you've ever suffered the deep heart wound of a shattered relationship, don't lose hope. God truly restores all things. You may not have that specific relationship again, but your heart can be restored. I can attest to that. If you have a friendship like this now, then cherish every moment. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says:

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble."

We were made for real friendship. We were made for real community. Embrace friendship today even if there is a chance of becoming wounded, for real friendship brings real healing.

Love,

-Mel